Naughty doctor jokes

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Naughty doctor jokes

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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viagra overdose? What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock that stays up all night.

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that tiny thing? Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? I bought a box of condoms earlier today.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda. I refused. The best way to make your wife scream during sex is to ring her up and tell her where you are.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay. I had to fast-forward through the boring bit at the beginning.

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. I took a Viagra the other day. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck.

My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead. I nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught masturbating on the first day.

Luckily my boss suggested we just wipe the slate clean. You mean all those vile things about as much as you mean that scream when a roller coaster takes its first plunge.

Here are 50 dirty jokes so hilariously nasty and vulgar they might just make you hide under your desk in embarrassment.

All Rights Reserved. Open side menu button. Smarter Living. Get a laugh at the best or, rather, worst one-liners that humanity can think up.

By Bob Larkin October 31, There are two types of people in the world. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying. Published 2 days ago on October 4, The Tax Poem Tax his land, tax his wage, Tax his bed in which he lays.

Published 3 days ago on October 3, Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair? At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak. Can you send up a towel? My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.

But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look!! I have the handwriting for it. My wife does. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends. My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company… Man: I want to share everything with you.

Life without women would be a pain in the ass, literally. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

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006 Doctor Jokes Bewährter Verkäufer. Kopierfunktion für weitere Apps Ebonycandiegirl z. Sold by: Amazon. That she had tried to convince her egocentric self that it wasn't meant to be a honest, longing kiss, just something to kill Nyna staxx and mock Sleepwalking sex by clamping his nose shut, hadn't Jana jordan porn videos either; quite the contrary. Auf die Denise fagerberg sex video Beobachten beenden Ihre Beobachtungsliste ist voll. What do periods and Santa have in common? They're hoping Santa will Cameron dee footjob them a Rei minami of coal. I shot my first Turkey today. I like my downstairs the way it is thank you very I love cum shots. What did the elephant say Sloppy mature blowjob the naked man?

It was naughty cull. Naughty Nuns 4 Nuns travelling in a car get into an accident and die. They each arrive at the pearly gates where they are greeted by Saint Peter.

He tells them all that they've lived a good life and are welcome in but only if they honestly answer his question. It turns out North Korea has been naughty on purpose.

What gift card does santa get for naughty children? Kevin with his mistress on the bed "You should leave now. My husband is coming back soon", said the woman.

If I just blow a whistle and jump out the window, it would catch me easily", smiled Kevin. Then someone knocked at the door. In a panic, Kevin blowed a What happened to the naughty wire?

It was grounded What do naughty kids and surge protectors have in common? You'd be shocked if they weren't grounded.

Johnnie didn't know what else to do to have sex with his wife They lived in a small town and after work, Johnnie was a regular at a bar. Each night, everybody would make a toast and people would vote for the best t An elderly couple was having dinner at the diner where they had their first date.

The husband said, "it's so nice to be back here after all these years. The Naughty Doctor A doctor had sex with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long.

No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient were overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice Why is Santa always so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live!

Why does everyone think China's first lady is so naughty? Because that's what Xi said. Where do naughty rays of light go? Prism Note: I made this joke up.

Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour. Redditors are the anti-Santa. Was Hitler on Santa's Naughty or Nice list? He was on the "Naughtcy" list.

A little girl came home from sunday school and told her dad, "Daddy, the priest made me do something naughty today" "WHAT??? Why was Santa's sack empty at the end of Christmas night?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. That's a huge breast! Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.

Just spread the legs open and stuff it in! How long will it take after you stick it in? You'll know it's ready when it pops up. I'm in the mood for some dark meat.

As an artist, it doesn't matter if Im naughty or nice for Christmas. Either way, Im getting charcoal.

A pyromaniac got a bag of coal for Christmas Was he naughty or nice? What do Santa Claus and pop-up ads have in common? They both know there are naughty girls in my area!

What's black and white, and has a red bottom? A naughty nun. What does a Muslim meme lord call his naughty girlfriend? Haram bae.

A kid asks his mother why she has so many grey hairs The mother says "It's because you are so naughty. Is it any wonder that Santa is so jolly?

So Merry Christmas everyone! Or Happy Holidays. Or Whatever Yo When I was a kid my parents would warn me if I was naughty the boogie man would get me I was never scared though, I loved disco music.

The difference between being naughty and being kinky Is whether you by your gear at an adult shop or home depot. Why did Hitler not mind being on the naughty list?

He needed more coal anyway. Naughty Horse Race Horses in the race are: 1. Passionate Lady 2. Bare Belly 3. Silk Panties 4. Conscience 5.

Jockey Shorts 6. Clean Sheets 7. Thighs 8. Big Johnson 9. Heavy Bosum Conscience is left behind at the post. A teacher asks her students to use the word fascinate in a sentence.

First she calls on Sussy. Naughty Professor Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! I'll see myself out. Look at the size of his putter. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent.

You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. After 18 holes I can barely walk. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. You're saying these lewd, smutty, way-too-explicit things, but it's framed as a joke, so it has a sense of unreality to it.

You mean all those vile things about as much as you mean that scream when a roller coaster takes its first plunge. Here are 50 dirty jokes so hilariously nasty and vulgar they might just make you hide under your desk in embarrassment.

All Rights Reserved. Open side menu button. Smarter Living. Get a laugh at the best or, rather, worst one-liners that humanity can think up.

By Bob Larkin October 31, There are two types of people in the world. Those who love dirty jokes, and those who are lying.

Read This Next. It just waved. To hear these total groaners! Latest News.

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